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Wednesday, October 30th, 2002

Subject:I have the flu, dabadee dabadie. . .
Time:9:07 pm.
Mood: thoughtful.
Sometimes I wish I could be those naiive little children who believe that you actually can touch the objects that pop out of the screen during a 3D movie.
+ Look, there's 15 dreamers! + Catch a shooting star... +

Tuesday, October 29th, 2002

Subject:Right now, I really don't care...
Time:9:43 pm.
Mood: awake.
Sometimes I look at myself and realize just how childish some of the things that I do are. It may be simple things, like the way I stand or maybe even a hand gesture here and there. Other times it's things that are more complex and specific, like the way that I handle a certain situation and then later on live to regret it. That childish part of me is something that I'm very much afraid of losing, but at the same time I think I need to... and maybe I'm afraid that I just won't be able to shake it. It's a part of me, after all. It makes me who I am, gives people insight to my character.
Sometimes I think I have lousy character. I don't do things because I feel I want to, but it's because I need to, or other people view it as something that I have to do. Like tonight, out of nowhere, my mom insists that I get the application done for Boston College's early admission application. I don't want to do it, yet I know I'll be forced to because my mother wants me to go there. I, for one, don't see my future there. Why bother wasting the money on an application if I'm going to resist making a name for myself in that establishment? *sigh* I'll do it anyway. I'll be upo until about eleven or twelve working on an essay that I don't even want to write, but know that it has to be spectacular so that perchance I don't get accepted anywhere else, maybe the little personal essay I had to write on the Boston College application may be what caught the admissions officer's eye and got me admitted.

Yeah. Sixteen of two-hundred and something-odd students is never enough. You still need to fill out the damned applications.

~* Jeshika
+ Catch a shooting star... +

Monday, October 21st, 2002

Subject:She took my heart and tore my feelings like I had none!
Time:5:31 pm.
Mood: indifferent.
I find myself sitting here, earnestly trying to get my homework done, but it's just not happening. I guess I've just got the procrastination gene. I have a letter to my congressman, a review of McCue's class, and an English paper to write that I should have done over the weekend, but I was too busy to be bothered with it.
I went with Katy for a drive to Loews and we saw Rob Frey and Mike Cascio in a car with a few other boys. The latter waved. I waved, blushed, then moved as the light turned green so that we could reach our destination. We saw Abandon, that new movie with Katie Homes and saw DanDan and Justin outside the theatre as we were exiting. Only god knows what those boys were doing in our neck of the woods. I said my hellos with an honestly shocked expression on my face, half of my being jumping for joy; the other bracing itself, just waiting for the dogs to be let loose. I don't like being surprised by people that I have a less than stellar past with. Oddly enough, Dan was the first to notice me. He smiled, I gave him a hug. At least, I think I did. Some of that night is blurry. To make an utterly long and boring story short, somehow I got him to admit that he was a dick and he gave it to me in writing. If you want to see the proof, ask tomorrow. Or the day after. It brings a smile to my face.
Saturday was slow. Everyone was busy, too busy to go shopping with me for a Halloween costume. I settled for seeing Steeeeeve at Friendly's. We I had dinner and Steve had a coke and a milkshake. Weirdo. He also got a little too frisky, so I slapped him a few times. he was shocked that I actually did it. Hey, I warned him. Sometimes boys need a reminder that something is just NOT funny, no matter how hard they're laughing.
Sunday I went to the Breast Cancer Walk at Jones Beach. Remind me sometime that waking up at seven to be at the beach to start walking at eight is not a happy thing to do. It should really be made illegal. I really need to get more sleep, but there's never enough time in the day. As a testament to that, I guarentee that I'll still be working on my AP homework until about eleven or twelve tonight. I hate writing essays. I feel like the words never come out quite the way I want to express them, kind of like my ideas are being surpressed. Maybe that's why I have to spend so much time doing them and then checking them over again, even though I know that no matter what I do, I'll never be satisfied with how it came out. As is the life of a perfectionist.
More stuff on Sunday was that I went shopping with Cathy. I love that girl; we got semi-matching Halloween costumes. I got these really awesome black feather wings and she got red ones, along with some really cool clothes from Hot Topic. I'm going to be the anti-angel... or the atypical angel, as I like to say. This should be fun, to show off my darker side. I really think that people have no way of understanding my multi-faceted personality. God, I sound like a hair commercial.
Sometimes I wonder if anyone else really reads my ramblings. No one comments, not even on that really weird entry I wrote yesterday. Hrm.

~* Jeshika
+ Look, there's 12 dreamers! + Catch a shooting star... +

Sunday, October 20th, 2002

Subject:Screw the box.
Time:8:48 pm.
Mood: high.
Out of the box. Get out of the freaking box! I don't care if you like it in there, you devious fiend. Trying to hide your blackness within the darkness? Any fool can clearly tell the difference. I have my eyes on you, lost one. Beware of the consequences. Watch your step. Don't trip over my foot.
Follow the yellow brick road. Screw it. Follow the red brick road. Wonder where it leads? Has to be somewhere other than Emerald City. Maybe it's hell. Watch out for the falling munchkins. Wait a minute. Why am I helping you? I hate you.
Hate you.
You see the red in my eyes? Focus on the depths of the flames. I'd hate for you to see the river. I'm not as weak as you see me to be, not as weak as you'd prefer me to be. I'm at my breaking point. I dare you to tempt me. Give me a reason to snap.

+ + + This message from our sponsors has been brought to you by the Jeshika show. We'll be back after these brief messages.
+ Look, there's 2 dreamers! + Catch a shooting star... +

Tuesday, October 15th, 2002

Subject:Failure isn't an option. . .
Time:7:52 pm.
Mood: nostalgic.
As most of you have already heard, I did it. I cut it off with Jay on Saturday. *sigh* I don't know, things weren't clicking. We didn't really have a relationship, so to speak. Just making out. It was weird; I didn't know him, he didn't know me. Now I know what they mean when they say that long distance relationships are hard. I think that our main problem was that we didn't start out locally. We were just... bam. Together in a week. That was my mistake; I didn't think, didn't project. In the end, I think I wound up really hurting him. It certainly wasn't my intent. I don't think it's anyone's intent. It just happens.
Yesterday I found that he had e-mailed me this really long, sappy love letter about how he had "almost" fallen for me and he didn't regret anything we'd done. Or been through. It wasn't all that long, just a little over a month. He said he's looking for the same qualities that our relationshio had. This is just... confusing. We didn't even really have a "relationship" to speak of. Not in my eyes, and when we were breaking up, that's what he told me. Now I just feel like a complete and utter bitch. I felt like that when I gave him the speech. I still feel the same way now, as illogical as it may sound. I wanted to end it, but there was no harmless way of removing the strings.
So, yeah. I'm single. I can stalk and occasionally stare at a certain someone now and not feel horribly guilty about it.

I saw Sweet Home Alabama this weekend... and My Big Fat Greek Wedding again with the new love of my life, Catharina. I also got to see Katy on Monday. We waited around for the carpet guy, then ran rampant in Toys "R" Us and got free Friendly's ice cream. It was a day well spent, catching up and talking about nothing. I need to do that more often. I really wish I wasn't so busy. Here I thought Senior Year was supposed to be fun. Hrmph.
On another note, I'm thinking of switching my journal name. This one won't be deleted... it'll be open as a kind of testament to my past thoughts and feelings and all that jazz. I'll keep you posted.
Now, let's go watch that Buffy the Vampire Slayer, shall we?

~* Jeshika
+ Catch a shooting star... +

Sunday, October 6th, 2002

Subject:Hey dad. . .
Time:1:07 pm.
Mood: calm.
I'm taking a little break from writing my five-paged AP European History paper. I've been at it for about two hours and I'm up to page three. I say I deserve a break. Yes. I have to get back onto some kind of topic.
Hrm. Last time I wrote it was over a month ago. Or maybe it was after that; I don't remember because I'm not logged in and all I can see are my public entries. *laughs* How am I updating? The client, duh. :)
Well, I guess I can start out by saying that I've had positively the worst luck these past few weeks when it concerns my car. Three weeks ago, my breaks almost gave out. Two weeks ago, a truckload of Spanish gardiners rear-ended my Honda, buckling the bumper and throwing off the alignment. Last weekend, some random drunken and.or high partier from Homecoming broke into my car around two o'clock in the morning and stole my new stereo system that I JUST bought about a month ago, maybe less. Lucky for me that they didn't think to look around the car for my CDs... they only got Linkin Park because it was inside the player. Idiots. It really pisses me off how some people can just do that... especially since my car was parked right in front of my house. Ah well, it's just money I guess. I have plenty of it from my summer job, so it's just a matter of time until I go to the bank to take out some more money to buy a new stereo system. I already replaced the window. *laughs* I guess the jerks did me a favor-- the driver's side window had a few knicks and the like, but now it's all pretty. That's right, you can't keep me down for long. Fucking assholes. *smirks* Well, karma's a bitch. One of these days they'll get a nice bite in the ass.
I got my class ranking in the other day. Number sixteen out of two hundred and ninety. It's the top six percent. I was pleased. Then again, maybe I just thought I should be pleased. I don't know, I'm one of those people who just wonders if that's really the best they could have done. I'm one of those people who beats themself up over something in the mid-eighties when they think that maybe if they had just studied a bit harder, it could've been in the ninties. Maybe higher. I really need to change.
Yesterday I went to Binghamton. It was nice-- the new dorms are gorgeous. If I go to a state school, that's probably where I'll end up. I think it's one of the most exclusive SUNY schools. Next weekend I'm going back to Boston to look at a few more schools... Emerson, maybe Northeastern again.
Well, guess it's time to get back to my paper again. Maybe rush upstairs and take a quick shower now, then continue. I don't know, whatever strikes me in the next five seconds. Maybe I'll even finish this stupid paper in time to go to the Critical Mass show. I still need to tell all my "big brothers" what happened to my car. I really, really need to get rid of it. Causes me nothing but trouble.

Oh, one last thing. The new Good Charlotte CD kicks major ass. Anyone who doesn't have it yet needs to go out and purchase it. Now. Thank you.

~* Jeshika

Romance Meter: Jeshika
Optimist 80%
..
20% Cynic
Close 72%
..
28% Distant
Sexual 23%
..
77% Asexual
Age:17femaleheterosexual
Compare with user:
What does my romance meter read?
+ Catch a shooting star... +

Sunday, September 1st, 2002

Subject:Come out, come out, wherever you are. . .
Time:12:13 am.
Mood: sleepy.
I kno everyone's been anxiously waiting for me to say something, anything about Summerslam. The truth is, I've been wondering what to say. Pretty much everyone who'll read this knows what happened... eh, but to make a long story short: I met a nice guy who trusted me blindly within the first few hours that I met him and that moved me. It completely moved me. He gave me his ticket because I lost mine (I dropped it somehow in the tickling fiasco.. ^^;), he let me take his cell for the show so that I could call him if I ran into any problems getting to my seat. You don't meet people like that anymore.
Did I mention that he's amazingly cute and a wonderful kisser? Ehe. ^^;; Only down part is that he lives an hour away, in Jersey. We'll se what happens.. we're supposed to get together tomorrow. *shrugs and laughs* Jen, he might bring Steeeeve! :) He should be sober. *fingers crossed*

School in less than a week... let's demonstrate just how not excited I am! *crickets chrip* This year.. five AP courses, no sleep. *grins* Bring it on. I'll make it through the year without burning out.
Next Critical Mass show is on September 8th. I want to go... and I know Philly and Jen are at least semi-interested. Any more takers? By then, maybe the Honda will be painted and sparkly. *laughs* We'll see. For now, it's time for me to go because I ahve a veeeery busy day ahead of me tomorrow.

For the record, Jen needs to call me or beep me sometime before tomorrow's out so I can tell her just what in the blue hell we're doing and when! *smirks* Third wheel time, dearie.

~* Jeshika

SVS420: so I forgive you, Ms. Cockblock
Rose in the Ice: Miss WHAT?
SVS420: lol u never heard of a cockblock?
SVS420: i was trying to get some from Jaime, and you tried to prevent it....therefore you committed the act of "Cockblocking"

SVS420: the day I wear a yamaka is the day I kill myself
+ Look, there's 3 dreamers! + Catch a shooting star... +

Sunday, August 18th, 2002

Subject:Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor. . .
Time:3:13 am.
Mood: nostalgic.
Yeah, so I've been busy with work. Sue me. I'll continue to be busy with it until September 16th. *cracks a smile* I finished my AP English assignment on time. I still have to work on my Social Studies, but I'm going to try to drop that class. I had an insightful conversation with my cousin Gail about all the pressures that I'm putting on myself. It's not so much that I'm taking these classes for me; I'mtaking them for my parents, I'm taking them because they look good on a college application. How sad is that? I'm just afraid that dropping down to Honors level will completely mess up my schedule. I guess we'll just ahve to wait and see.
I went to Boston and looked at a few colleges-- Boston University and Northeasteren. I really, really liked Northeastern. They had this awesome Co-op program that I think would be really helpful. Getting out of college with one and a half years of experience in your chosen major/profession is damned cool.
Right before I left, Joe stopped by and we had a nice talk about the past. I'm not amd at him anymore... and I never really hated him. I just hated what he did and how he chose to handle the situation. It's been four years-- people change. *smiles a little* Wow. He's going to college. That'll be me soon. Quite a trip if you think about it.
I don't know if I'm ready for it. Ready for everything. I don't know if I'm ready to go through my senior year and then leave it all behind... though I'll admit that I want to. I hate some of the friendship politics that go on over here. I need to escape, start fresh. One more year. One more freaking year.
Here's to more mistakes concerning trust.

~* Jeshika
+ Look, there's 2 dreamers! + Catch a shooting star... +

Wednesday, July 31st, 2002

Subject:Quite the quiet one I am...
Time:12:13 am.
Mood: high.
I just got back from the Creed concert at Nassau Coliseum. I don't care what little miss Michelle has to say, I think they're all right. *waits for Mick to fling tomatoes her way before continuing* Anyway, because of them I have a new obsession-- 12 Stones. I have to remember to buy the CD when my next paycheck comes in. Oof. Summer Slam is going to take quite a dent out of that...
I really need a new car. Badly. Driving the Camaro isn't bad at all, but it's a pain in the ass when my father won't let me bring it anywhere else. The Maxima's in the shop because it's having some engine trouble... so until then, I have to depend on others for rides to various places. Joy. We all know how much I love that. I've had a few graceful offers from quite a few great individuals... don't you guys think for a second that I'm ungrateful! :)
Recently, Cat and I went to Shoujocon. I think it'd be safe to say that we had fun cosplaying as Jill Valentine and Claire Redfield. That's it, though. From now on, my Claire costume is retired. It will never again see another anime convention. Let's all weep for it, now. *gives it a brief moment of silence before continuing* Well, while we were there, the two of us picked up two new tastes-- 1) Pocky (that strawberry stuff we brought home is still in my freezer, Cat!) and 2) Dance Dance Revolution. I think Ray tried to get us into it years ago, however that was pre-home dance pad. The dance pad is what makes it. I wonder if he remembers that day. *shrugs*
Friday I got to see John and Drew, my Michiganite friends. Finally getting to see them after four or five long years of friendship was priceless... especially eating at the diner and seeing that not so ambiguously gay waiter hitting on John. (I can still remember John's expression-- What the fuck?!) Drew hit his head on that red car playing McGuiver... John licked Jackie's car (long, long story! *cracks up*) and.. Nutsack! These things won't mean anything to you, but years from now, they will to me. *smiles* You really want to know the full story? You know you need but ask. Anyway, they stayed in my garage overnight. I got to make them pancakes the next morning for breakfast before they left. After procrastinating for about an hour and a half, they left, giving me a blue jay feather that Drew kept in his car. I was touched... so much that I cried. Cried because they were leaving, and the chance that I might never get to see them again. I did try to smile, though. What a bittersweet goodbye.
I really should start cracking on my summer assignments. Yeah. The cousins from Seattle come in I think sometime next week. Great. Noses up my mother's ass. -.- *grumbles* They always make me look so bad... oh well. At least they'll keep their paws off of my non-existant car.
I'd write more, but quite frankly I'm a lazy person. Was this enough to satisfy the masses? Probably. I'm still alive. That was this entry's point. Need me? You know where to find me.

* Have to remember to call the school tomorrow about that Peer Leader stuff... Writing it here should help me remember, no? Yes.
~* Jeshika

Edit: I got a 4 on the AP. Joy.
+ Look, there's 4 dreamers! + Catch a shooting star... +

Thursday, July 4th, 2002

Subject:Neglecting her LJ...
Time:11:54 pm.
Mood: tired.
So, what else is new? Yes, I'm just quite the little bad one here, now aren't I? Actually, I've just been really busy with work and the like-- I just started at the beginning of this week, and my hours have been crazy. Yep, this gal works at Forest City Park, near the pool for the time being. If you're bored and need something to do, please come down to stalk me! I'd love to be able to sell you passes and stuff... and introduce you to my working friends.
It's really a lot better than my job was last year... I get paid less, but the working environment is much more comfortable/flexible. If I need a day off, I just tell them and they let me go. Just like that. Of course, I don't get paid for them, but I wasn't expecting to, either. The last few days at the park have been almost unbearable-- it's so freaking hot, just sitting there! We all get so sweaty and disgusting... bleh. At least we all understand that it's not our fault we're sweating! *laughs* I'm wearing my bathing suit underneath my uniform tomorrow so that I can go take a quick dip when times get slow. I'd ask them about giving Jen a job, but I think we have too many workers as it is... sometimes, just so we look busy, our superiors send the boys out on "walks" or in the big yellow park truck. *laughs* The last time my friend Chris had to take a walk, he wound up in his car with the air conditioner on high. Lucky, lucky, lucky. Did I mention that he took Driver's Ed with me last summer? He was in my lecture class.
Well, tomorrow my hours are 11-7, so I guess I should be skipping off. Today with the wedding and everything (my cousin Joey got hitched!), I've had a very, very long day. There were some grand reunions with cousins of years passed... and sorry to say there weren't any cute unrelated guys around at the party, although there was a nice looking waiter. I smiled at him, but that's pretty much it. Oof. I think I need a nice, looooong night's sleep before I get to work tomorrow, otherwise yours truly will be a zombie. Hope everyone had a kick-ass July 4th, despite the news of the shooting at LAX.

Remind me that next time I have a funny story to post about work. I'd go into it now, but I really want to post this before the 4th of July has passed! G'nite, godspeed... and I think I have Saturday off. Who wants to see me? *sniffle* My parents might force me to go to some party upstate with them, but it all depends on when I'm supposed to be working on Sunday.

~* Jeshika
+ Catch a shooting star... +

Monday, June 24th, 2002

Subject:Wow, haven't taken one of these in awhile...
Time:7:10 pm.
Mood: amused.
It's a *gasp* quiz!

SIREN

Like the beautiful sea mermaids who've swum before you, Siren, you certainly have a way of drawing people in. Whether wooing a crush with your alluring voice or impressing someone with your unique take on the world, you're sure to captivate more than your share of audiences.
It must be the balance between your glittering personality and your individual style that keeps friends and family enamored by your presence. From being able to predict next season's "it" color to pairing leopard print with plaid before it hits the pages of Vogue, people see you as a fashion goddess. You may not want to admit it, but you're part trendsetter and people look to you for direction.
Of course, you know there's more to life than shopping for the latest adorable accessory. You pursue success in all aspects of life-- from offering creative insights at work to running marathons. You have big dreams, Siren, and by keeping them in sharp focus, you're sure to come out a winner.

Remember your Emode.com info? Then you can take the quiz here.

~* Jeshika
"Ooooh, so that's what that song is about!" - Willow Rosenberg on I Touch Myself
+ Catch a shooting star... +

Saturday, June 22nd, 2002

Subject:You come over unannounced, dressed up like you're someone else. . .
Time:11:00 am.
Mood: bored.
I guess I will post about that long ago Girls Night Out with Jen and Philly. *laughs* Not many details, maybe just a skeletal outline. Well, first we went to the Sunrise Mall, my favorite mall because of that lovely store that they call Hot Topic. That hot blonde guy was working... *laughs* He's too beautiful to be straight! *sniff* Anyway, while there I purchased a new wallet-- it's a metallic pink with a metallic silver star on the front. Beautiful. It's pink, bubbly, and shiney, just like me! *laughs* from there we headed back to Philly's where she changed on a whim into a shirt like one that she had seen at Hot Topic. I guess seeing it reminded her that she had it... anyway, from there we proceeded towards The Witches Brew. It's been too long since we've last been there-- there's so many pretty people who go there! Goths and punks and any other types... Just makes you want to drool, but you don't because you so desperately want to look that appealing too. Anyway, yes, we had some cake and ate it too, then we proceeded back to the ghettos of L-town to King Kullen where we picked up some very buttery popcorn so that we could head back to my place to watch Dirty Dancing. Lovely movie... anyone who's gone through the female phases of puberty and doesn't like that movie is crazy. Seriously, they need to seek help.
That's basically the whole she-bang. It probably doesn't sound all that stimulating to the lot of you, but for us gals it was fun. We had bonding moments, deep conversations.. you know, the works. We need to have nights like that more often.

So, what else do I have to say? I had my last final yesterday-- Chem. I'm finally officially a part of that elite group at the top of the High School food chain-- a senior. Wow. Not to mention eep. Have to admit that it scares me senseless to know that I have only one more year left in that hellish institution, then I have to go off to another of my choosing for things that will only get progressively worse and/or harder. I'm mixed here. I want to move on with my life, to find out what's out there... but the further along I go I'm afraid of the mistakes that I'll make and whether or not they'll be fixable.

Today is the tomorrow you were so worried about yesterday.


~* Jeshika
+ Look, there's 4 dreamers! + Catch a shooting star... +

Wednesday, June 12th, 2002

Subject:You can't change the way you feel, and you can't tell me this ain't real. . .
Time:6:31 pm.
Mood: pensive.
I should be studying for math right now, but I'm not. I'm halfway through chapter five in the review book.. considering that the test is only through nine, I say I'm doing fine. I'll finsih, eventually. Just don't feel like staring at mathematical problems right now. Ali might come over later to study with me, which is a good thing. An hour with someone to help you stay focused is better than five hours by yourself... at least, that's what I think.
Well, the parentals are gone. They went to see Gail graduate in Seattle. Damn finals... I hate the New York State regents. If it wasn't for them, I could've gone with. *sighs* Oh well. I hate being alone.
At least the Good Charlotte quiz was interesting. Yes, I love Benji boy.
God, I'm pathetic! *laughs a little* Anyone else would've been thrilled that their parents were leaving for a few days. Instead I cry. I've been crying a lot lately... must be all of this pent up stress from finals and everything. Oof. I think I need a hug. . .

~* Jeshika

I'm Change!  What GC song are you?Sensitive and caring, it is obvious that you are in LOOOVE! But, sure, you're in love, the only problem is you need to have courage in your relationships. Speak what is in your heart today, you may never get another chance.

Which Good Charlotte song are you?








What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com /
<�>
+ Look, there's 4 dreamers! + Catch a shooting star... +

Saturday, June 8th, 2002

Subject:Star date: oh six hundred and eight, two thousand and two. . .
Time:8:36 pm.
Mood: rushed.
Don't mind my mindless dribble. I jsut realized the other night that I fall into this horrible ditch-- I make good updates, but they're usually days apart. *laughs* Oh well, the only people who really read this are my friends, so they all know what's going on in my life. Well, not all of it. They can't possibly know what goes through my mind every morning just because they don't live there. Thank god, there's way too much loose change in there anyway.
So, last night was the 2002 Senior/Faculty Variety Show. I must say that I was very, very amused... and so was my childhood friend, Michie. Originally, Cathy was supposed to accompany me, but that didn't quite work out because she had a project to work on. So, yeah, we went to the variety show... and saw more guys in drag than what's considered healthy! *laughs* Scott made one hot woman, let me tell you. :) I love that Giannico. What else... oh, the little skit "El Nino" with him and Dan also had me laughing, and Booty Liscious at the end had me panting. Those of you who didn't go, you missed a very special night. Some guy was also pretending to be Mrs. Kopman and the little recreation of Shrek were cute. "Okay, boobie, this is going to be the best show!" *cracks up* Okay, Jess is a little easily amused-- but that's not news. There were also some really good bands. Hey, Mick, you remember "Monkey Boy", right? One of the guys who uses the locker next to me? Well, his name's Steve Davis and he plays one mean bass. *nodsnods* Oh! And Frankie and Angela sang an absolutely beautiful duet. So, I guess that you could say that it was a successful show. What made my night, though, was when I got to give Scott a hug at the end of the night. *smiles a little* He wants me to sign his yearbook. He says that he'll bring it to class. Wow. He considers me yearbook signing worthy. Just... wow. That really touched me. I'm already planning some of the things I'm going to write. I can't mess this up. *laughs* I want him to remember me when he's fifty, dammit!
So, after the show, Michie and I came back to my place and it turned out that she'd be staying the night. We spent the entire night chit-chatting away, catching up. It had all really begun when we'd had dinner before the show, but I was just so shocked to realize how much you can really miss a person without actually knowing it until you see them again. She has the same problem with guys that I tend to-- I think I like them, but then when they start getting close, I shy away and break things off abruptly. We both decided that we're too scared to fall in love. Hey, it's not like we try to hurt guys on purpose, but it happens. *sighs* We'd make great inadvertant vengeance demons, now wouldn't we? Well, back to the topic at hand-- due to all the reminiscing that we did the night before, I decided to give a few more of my childhood friends a call today to see if they wanted to get together today. They both weren't home, but I have no doubt in my mind that Meg will call me back tomorrow. Maybe we can make plans from there.
As odd as it sounds, you want to know a thought that crossed my mind today? *laughs* I did a lot of thinking today!

Do you remember the time when peanut butter and jelly sandwiches seemed huge? How about when you couldn't finish a can of soda by yourself?

When you stop to think about it, so many things have changed without you even realizing it. I need to take the time to stop and smell the roses again.

~* Jeshika
+ Look, there's 4 dreamers! + Catch a shooting star... +

Thursday, May 30th, 2002

Subject:I burn for your love so bad. . .
Time:7:06 am.
Mood: sleepy.
So, yeah. I'm quite aware that it's early as hell and it's about time I had an update. I have about twenty minutes, so let's see what I can get accomplished here. Tonight's Theatre Night. Nervous? You betcha. I'm always nervous-- also, we have a lot to live up to. At this point, this Theatre Night will be the last one that will ever happen. I just hope I remember all my lines, pick up on all my cues... and have at least a few people that I love in the audience to watch. That's probably the most important part, although it's the hardest one to accomplish, too. Everyone has some silly concert to go to tonight-- and I'd probably be going too if it wasn't for Theatre Night. Oh, the sacrifices one must make to be a Drama Queen!
My vacation went well, for those of you who don't know already. There were some creepy moments, like the army guy who was working security at LaGuardia when we left. Mom says he was staring at me, and every time I passed by he said, "Have a nice trip." He didn't do that to anyone else! Dammit, I should've worn something else-- I had my Linkin Park: Projekt Revolution shirt on-- y'know, with the army print? I think that's what attracted him to me in the first place. *laughs* I mean, come on, the first few words that he said to me were, "Nice shirt."
A few days later, at the hotel, there was also this little twelve year old looking at me. I was not impressed, to say the least. I was at least five years his senior! Sorry, hun, but I'm outta your league.
On the bright side, I did meet a Travis Barker from Blink-182 lookalike. He was a nice guy, too! He had all these similarities with Travis-- their first names were the same, his middle name was Brandon (which sounded a lot like the middle name that Travis has, but I'm too lazy to look it up now), and his last name also rhymed. Maybe mom remembers it.. anyway, I wanted to get a picture with him, but by the time I worked up the nerve to ask, he never came back! I have to remember to look him up again at Hard Rock Orlando if I ever find myself back in that neck of the woods-- and I sincerely hope I do because of one certain boy who's song I can't get out of my head.

...
...


Yep, that's right, you guessed it-- Chris Gotti. Witness the icon in his honor! *points upwards* I'm thinking of making him a part in my story.. we'll see how the flow goes. We were supposed to meet up over the week, but it didn't work out as we'd planned. The night before I left (Memorial Day), he called around eight and I almost died from the shock. I was starting to doubt that he'd even actually CALL. We tried to make plans to get ice cream, or just so he could stop by and say hi-- but things weren't that simple. At around nine or so he called me back to say that there was a big problem-- he had to meet with his producer (yes, of their album) that night, which was in a city that was forty-five minutes away in the opposite direction. I was quite heartbroken. *smiles a little* Still am, but I'll live... especially if he gets his butt over here sometime soon! Since he has a friend in D.C., he said that maybe we could meet up at a club or something... *laughs* He knows I'm only seventeen, so adult clubs are going to be a little more difficult, but.. eh, I guess the ever popular expression is, "We'll see."
I don't want to wait anymore... it's been three years. I say I've waited long enough, dammit.

~* Jeshika
+ Look, there's 3 dreamers! + Catch a shooting star... +

Sunday, May 26th, 2002

Subject:I... stand alone!
Time:7:34 pm.
Mood: bouncy.
I got burnt. *sniffles* My arms, my legs. Dammit! Ah well... it's color. On the bright side, Orlando has a really good radio station that I just can't turn off-- 105.9. Rock and alternative twenty four hours, seven days a week! Mick would probably be interested to know that they're hosting a Lit concert tonight at some local music place-- The House of Blues. I heard a little Lit interview earlier and everything. Hey, Mick, the lead singer's phone meows! *laughs* I'm coming home on Tuesday! *bounces around*



What Jelly Belly flavor are you? I'm -



Find your flavor here!


Everything that I believe is fading...

~*Jeshika
+ Look, there's 1 dreamer! + Catch a shooting star... +

Subject:Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there...
Time:8:21 am.
Mood: awake.
I love this song so that it's inspired me to update while I'm in the land of the sun... yep, at this ungodly hour. *snif* I want to sleep in once, dammit! Ah well... we've been through both Universal Studios and the Islands of Adventure-- and you want my honest opinion? Islands of Adventure are much better... especially if you like rollercoasters. Who would've guessed that my daddy despises going upside down? Today we're planning on going to Daytona Beach. Not really excited because I don't know what's there for me there. :( Not Chris. He hasn't called me yet and I e-mailed him last night and he never responded. *le sigh* Aw well, whatcha going to do with a boy who's busier/ god a schedule more demanding than the president's? Yep, just wait and hope he finds the time... otherwise I'm really hoping on coming back down here during the summer. Anyone with me here? Road trip!
So, yes. Today Daytona. Tomorrow, back to Universal and the Isles for shopping for trinkets.
You may all return to your vacationing, now. *smiles* Miss you guys!

~*Jeshika
+ Look, there's 2 dreamers! + Catch a shooting star... +

Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002

Subject:Just a day, just an ordinary day...
Time:12:55 pm.
Mood: bouncy.
Yep, Jess is being naughty. *grins* I'm doing a Michelle-- typing in livejournal at school when I'm supposed to be working on my math project! I think I just have vacation fever or something. *grins* I can't wait to head on down to Florida tomorrow morning! I won't get any more sleep, since we have to leave the house around eight, but.. it's Florida! I'm going to see if I can bug daddy to take me to Border's today to grab some reading material. We all know what that means. . . *cheers* New Resident Evil books that cost seven bucks a pop! *laughs* Hey, they're good books... and that's all that matters. Maybe I'll just read the old ones I have... Yep, they were read-again good.
Eh, since I'm not even supposed to really be typing this, I think I'll cut it short. Oh, Jen, thanks a million times over for the new Hayden Christensen pin-up that now resides happily in my locker. *laughs* It'll do until the real one finds me. One day, some day, far, far away. . . *sniff*

~* Jeshika
+ Look, there's 1 dreamer! + Catch a shooting star... +

Sunday, May 19th, 2002

Subject:One thing, I don't know why it doesn't even matter how hard you try...
Time:7:24 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
P . a . r . t . o . f . y . o . u . r . p . r . o . p . e . r . t . y .


Yes, I'm happy and somewhat relaxed for the first time in a very long time. Now all I really have to worry about are normal finals, like the regents... of course, I'm still going to worry, but only when the time and day comes. For now, I'm just really excited about going down to Florida for the Memorial Day weekend. I'm going to go to Universal Studios, see my astranged family, and maybe even see my sweetie Chris from Gotti 13. It'll be some nice time to take a time out, lots of rest and relaxation.
Before we go, I want to go out and buy the Spiderman soundtrack so that I have something new to listen to on the plane ride there. I don't really need it... I'll be satisfied with listening to my soundtracks from Resident Evil and Queen of the Damned.
I spent the entire day today out with my family. This morning my mother and I went shopping together for the first time in what feels like years. ^^ She bought me lots of new clothes, which is great. I needed new shirts and the like like nobody's business. My favorites have to be the three tops I got from Hot Topic-- two are fairy related and the other is just a cute goth girl. It's so cute! *beams* I can't wait to wear them on vacation.

And yes, for all of you wondering, I did have a lovely dream last night involving the lovely Hayden. *tee hee* Also happened in the flesh too, thanks to a very generous gift of a dear friend of mine. *pets her handsome Hayden* Thank you! *sniff* He's all could ever want and dream of!

~* Jeshika
I&apos;m The Supporter!
+ Catch a shooting star... +

Subject:Ohmi-GAWD!
Time:1:01 am.
Mood: horny.
I think I have a brand new obsession. Ohhh god, make it stop!

I want to ravage Hayden Christensen senseless!

Can I have him? I've been such a good girl! It's a just reward for working so hard these past few. . . well, my entire life! Yes, I decisively want Hayden wrapped in a big red bow. Someone please deliver him to me soon? You all know the address. ^^

Okay... I think it's time I got some rest. Yay! Yummy dreams of Hayden on the way! *eyes sparkle*

~* Jeshika
+ Look, there's 8 dreamers! + Catch a shooting star... +

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